Flash Fiction Challenge – Week 18: She’s gone

This is my effort in response to Thain in Vain’s Week 18 prompt: “Weird things remind me of her. Cabbage, for instance.”


I look down, letting out a sob as the reality of the situation finally sets in. She’s gone. My beautiful girl is gone.

Her bowl and bed, once so full, now both lay empty in the darkened corner of my kitchen. God, I miss her. I miss the fur she constantly shed and the muddy paw prints she’d track through on my just-cleaned laminate flooring.

I loved everything about her, even the less than pleasant things. Weird things remind me of her. Cabbage, for instance. She was a faithful friend and a loyal companion but, oh my word, her flatulence could knock a herd of rhino out at twenty paces.

Perhaps it was a problem of my own making; maybe feeding her my leftover dinner wasn’t the best thing for her. I quickly learned that curry and chilli were both a no-no – her flatulence on those evenings was enough to remind me of that.

Even when I fed her regular dog food she would always park her considerable rear end by my feet at the sofa, stretching out with legs akimbo. I would think her cute when she lay on her back, tongue lolling to one side of her mouth as she snored softly. Even the little twitches of her face and paws would make me smile, lulling me into a false sense of security.

It sometimes took an hour, and other times only minutes for her to fall asleep, her muscles relaxing as she drifted off into doggie dreamland. The relaxation of her muscles would cause one in particular to slacken – and with devastating effect.

At first I would tell myself that I’d imagined it. Wrinkling my nose as I straightened the newspaper on my lap. Then the subtle and unconscious twitching of my own nose would begin, my olfactory senses picking up on a malodorous and malignant presence in the air. Peering down, I would find her blissfully unaware that her bowels had produced a noxious gas of epic proportions.

Perhaps dogs couldn’t smell in their sleep, but I certainly could. It would be then that I would debate whether nudging her forcefully with my foot to move her stinking ass was being cruel or not. But her flatulence was a torture all of its own – why should I suffer alone in silence?

At times I grew to resent her and her ingrained canine habits, but I’d take all of that back just to see her one last time. I miss the way she barked when my car pulled up in the drive, the way she’d jump up at me and lick my face, the way she’d slobber her drool over me every time I sneezed.

I miss her and all her little doggie devilishness – but her stinking, farting ass?

Nope, never gonna miss that!




Filed under Flash Fiction 52 Challenge

19 responses to “Flash Fiction Challenge – Week 18: She’s gone

  1. This really pulled at my heartstrings and I had to go cuddle my dog after reading it!

  2. As a dog owner, this story resonated with me. Pets bring so much to our lives, including flatulence! A touching, humourous tale. Thanks for sharing, Heather! TiV

    • Thanks!

      This is an ode to past canine friends that I’ve loved and lost. When the prompt of ‘cabbage’ came through my mind instantly shot toward dog flatulence. Perhaps this shows my lack of social standing and class to write about such a topic, but I couldn’t help it. Fickle McFlouncy (my muse) was insistent that I take the story in such a direction…. 🙂

  3. What an aromatic tale! The last line made me laugh! Only you would come up with such an ending! Lesson: never feed your dog cabbage! (huge grin)

    • Thanks Kate!

      Well, when someone gives you the prompt of ‘cabbage’ one’s mind immediately turns to dogs and their flatulence. Well, mine does at least…. 🙄

      The lesson herein is to feed your pet pooch charcoal biscuits on a daily basis. That or buy a cork for their butt! 😈

      • You’ll remember it was that issue that turned me away from buying an English Bulldog. Now I want a stuffed one! I have to say, my dachshunds are pretty good about all that – but then, they don’t eat cabbage! This really was a sweet, but ultimately funny tale. I liked how you showed your affection and longing for the missed pet, and then put the zinger at the end. Well done.

      • Yes, English Bulldogs do tend to have a bit of an issue with flatulence (not to mention drooling) so it is probably a wise choice to buy stuffed toy dog rather than a real, live, and flatulent one…..

        This is indeed a story of longing, loss, and of course, flatulence…. 😎

  4. Sarah

    Lovely story – reminded me of several past (and passed) dogs. My current two aren’t too farty. I’ve always forgiven the ones that were – I’ve always mourned their passing.

    • Thanks so much for commenting Sarah, I’m glad that you enjoyed my whimsical little tale (or should that be tail?) of flatulent dogs!

      As much as their odours were offensive, I still dearly miss the dogs that I have loved and lost in the past. The description of said dog in this piece is an amalgamation of several of the dogs we’ve owned.

  5. OllieNumberSeven

    Reminds me of my dog and his love of the silent-but-deadlies. Looks like I’m not the only one who feels the pain (or should I say suffocating in stink)

  6. Lovely heartfelt story 🙂 We always knew when my mum’s dog had let out one if his silent-but-deadlies because he would whip his head round to stare accusingly at his bum and then get down off the sofa and leave the room. We quickly learned it was best to follow him before the stench reached our noses. I’m more of a cat person myself, much less smelly. Although mine is prone to burping in my face after eating…

    • Thanks Naomi!

      I’m just relieved that it is not only my dogs that exhibit this kind of behaviour. Dogs really do have the ability to look so sweet while smelling so vile. The smells they create seem so out of place with their cute and furry exterior….. 😆

  7. Pingback: Flash Fiction Challenge – Week Eighteen Submissions | Thain in Vain

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