Baking Bad

cake

I’d been looking at the book table of the charity sale held at my local village hall. Having exhausted all known titles in the genre of ‘kinky mummy porn’, I decided that I needed to go cold turkey from the bodice-rippers that had kept me warm since my husband upped and left me for a much younger woman.

I needed something far removed from those smutty romance novels and when my eye landed on the cookery book, I knew instantly that instead of a good fictional spanking, I needed to put all my energies into doing something creative.

I’d always liked to cook when Barry and I were married. I’d been distraught when he left, having a complete emotional breakdown and surviving on microwavable ready meals and the lustful exploits of the characters between the sheets of my favourite books.

Barry had been gone for eighteen months, the divorce finalised only last week. With the ink still drying on the papers, I decided it was time to take affirmative action. Grabbing my epilator from the drawer, I shaved the hair from my armpits, legs, and chin. Slapping makeup on my cheeks and wearing my favourite dress, I put my best foot forward, showing my face in public for the first time in months.

I’d always had a sweet tooth, ‘Beaton’s Book of Baking’ appealing to my gluttonous nature. Once home, I dropped the heavy tome on the table, poured myself a cup of fresh-brewed coffee and flicked through the pages, nodding my head at numerous cakes and cookies that looked as if they’d be easy enough to try.

The book had been both well-loved and well used, with splodges of cake mixture spotting several of the pages. Nearing the end of the book, I found two pages stuck together. Grabbing the palate knife from the drawer, I eased the two sheets apart, surprised to find a slip of paper laying in the crease.

The paper looked as old as the book. I opened it gingerly, not wanting the whole thing to disintegrate in my hands. There was a hand-written note on it:

‘Momma Sunshine’s Special Cake Mix’

100g plain flour

100g granulated sugar

100g soft butter

1tsp milk

2tbs caustic soda

2tbs arsenic

My eyes widened at the last two ingredients. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read any further, but something compelled me to do so.

Special cake for the man I love, the man who broke my heart and ran off with a floozy half his age.

I folded the paper quickly, pretending I hadn’t read it, placing it back where I found it and slamming the book shut.

I tried to ignore the devious plot forming in my head – could I really do that to Barry?

The man I loved. The man who broke my heart and ran off with another woman.

Yes. Yes,  I could.

After all, revenge is best served freshly-baked.


Written is response to Thain in Vain’s Week 21 FF52 prompt: A women purchases a cookbook at a charity book sale and discovers a note tucked in the pages.

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45 Comments

Filed under Flash Fiction 52 Challenge

45 responses to “Baking Bad

  1. Is it wrong that it made me laugh? Great job.

  2. Is it even more wrong that i was thinking “Yes! Yes! Do it!” I a slightly mummy porn-esque way? I was grinning by the end of this. Fabulous story.

  3. Nothing like a women scorned. Perhaps Barry can’t have his cake and eat it too! There’s some great descriptions in this story e.g., “with splodges of cake mixture spotting several of the pages’ and “I dropped the heavy tome on the table.” A fun take on the prompt! TiV.

    • Thanks! 🙂

      I think it’s just deserts for Barry, he’ll realise that you can’t have your cake and eat it without expecting some kind of payback. I’m glad that you enjoyed the imagery in the story, it was a lot of fun to write 🙂

  4. Nicely done! Funny and shocking at the same time. And, yes, I love the title…

  5. Great story, I loved it 🙂

  6. Well done! You mixed together (sorry) a fabulous tale, a humorous concoction of hurt, betrayal and revenge. I absolutely loved this – it had all the ingredients (sorry) for a terrific story: descriptiveness, humor, plot and – best of all – a great closing line. Terrific job with this one!

  7. I loved it! Clever title use, fantastic story all around. I guess revenge is sweet after all, hmm? 😉

  8. OllieNumberSeven

    this was amazing. Loved the descriptions and the voice

  9. Pingback: Flash Fiction Challenge – Week Twenty-One Submissions | Thain in Vain

  10. Pingback: Flash Fiction Challenge – Prompt Twenty-Two | Thain in Vain

  11. C. E. Coburn

    lol @ kinky mummy porn. My favorite line was “Yes. Yes, I could.” Good read.

  12. Pingback: Flash Fiction Challenge – Prompt Twenty-Three | Thain in Vain

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  14. Reblogged this on Odyssey of a Novice Writer and commented:
    I’ve been trying to get caught up on my reading this week – that means visiting as many of my favorite blogs as possible. I ran across this little gem by Heather B Costa titled ‘Baking Bad.’ I read this when Heather originally posted it, but it’s one of those stories that deserves a second look – it’s that good. For those who might have missed it the first time around, here you go! And there’s lots more on Heather’s excellent blog, so you’ll want to take a look-see while you’re there. Enjoy!

  15. For a younger woman??? I can only say, “he’s a dirty dog.” Hope your life turns out great.

  16. A sweet revenge literally LOL nice 🙂

  17. Hahahaha…. I’m sorry if I shouldn’t laugh but I am just not able to resist myself…. The end part is beautifully written…. Not to mention extremely funny…. Loved it (not the cake. The article😛😝😝)…

  18. Just perfect. Reminded me of the Alfred Hitchcock show where the woman kills her husband with a frozen leg of lamb over the head and then serves it cooked to the investigating policemen.

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