When on Mars…..

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“That was a complete waste of time!”

I roll my eyes as Danny’s tinny voice echoes in my helmet. I can barely stand the guy, I really don’t need to have his bitching in surround sound as we trudge our way back to the Endeavour.

I shake my head as much as I’m able to in the chunky space suit, the protective gear we wear is heavy and cumbersome. As awkward as the suit is, I know that both Danny and I would die without it.

Maybe if I tear a little hole in his suit…..

No, I can’t think like that. As much as Danny is an ass, I’d sooner put up with his irritating ways than die of boredom on my own. He’s an idiot, but at least he’s company.

We’d landed on the planet’s surface a few hours ago, by the time we’d suited up we were both itching to get out there and discover as much about the planet as we could. Danny had joked about finding ‘little green men’ as we took our first steps outside the ship, our bodies slowly adjusting to the difference in gravity from what we’d been used to on Earth.

“Our little green buddies better throw us some sort of welcoming party, otherwise we’re gonna colonise their asses!”

“Shut up, Danny.”

That had been over an hour ago. My legs ached from the density of gravity and I’d signalled to Danny that we should make our way back to the ship.

I was hungry.

My mouth fell open. Standing at the entrance to our spacecraft was the ugliest insect I’d ever seen. Several legs, three heads and a hideously large mouth, the insect was at least eight foot tall.

“What the fu….”

Danny didn’t have time to finish his thought. One moment he was standing next to me, the next he was gone, picked up by the creature and swallowed whole.

I felt something warm and sticky coat the inside of my space suit – my bowels had just emptied themselves.

“We come in peace.”

I held my hands up in a sign of surrender, the insect staring at me with what I presumed was a look of curiosity.

I think it might have said something but I couldn’t be sure.

Then an idea hit me.

I motioned to the door and crept closer. I have no idea why, but the insect let me pass, although it kept its huge eyes firmly on me.

Tossing stuff aside, I found what I’d been looking for, praying that it held the key to my salvation.

Head bowed, I held the precious item out.

The insect gurgled at me. I lifted my eyes and smiled as it took the Mars bar from my open hands. I heard it rip the wrapper and chomp.

When on Mars, give a Martian a Mars Bar.

And then it looked at me, its huge jaw covered in chocolate as its pincer-like arms latched onto me.

“Oh crap.”


Posted in response to Thain In Vain’s Week 23 prompt: The first men/women to set foot on Mars return to their ship only to find a large, strange insect on the door of the ship.

 

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14 Comments

Filed under Flash Fiction 52 Challenge

14 responses to “When on Mars…..

  1. This was awesome! And that ending had me jumping 😀

  2. Maybe a Snickers next time might win the creature over! Great story. Really like the annoying sidekick! Got a big laugh out of “our little green buddies better throw us some sort of welcoming party, otherwise we’re gonna colonise their asses!” Clever take on the prompt! TiV

  3. Man, there have been some great responses to this prompt. I giggle, though, that every single one has ended less then happily for our stalwart astronauts. 😉

  4. What a great take on the prompt, Heather! I loved the humor and had anticipated it after you asked me about the Mars Bar reference – what I didn’t expect was the scary ending! Death by chocolate… sort of! Well done!

    • Thanks Kate! 🙂

      Humour, chocolate and a less than pleasant ending….what more could you ask for?

      Maybe the astronaut should have given him a Snickers bar instead…. 😆

  5. Pingback: Flash Fiction Challenge – Week Twenty-Three Submissions | Thain in Vain

  6. “When on Mars, give a Martian a Mars Bar.” I LOL’d. Great work!

    • Thanks Mark!

      I couldn’t resist the opportunity to give a Martian a Mars Bar. When on Mars, right? 🙂

      Personally, I think it’d be a great way to make ‘First Contact’….’Hey guys, we love you little Martians so much we named our candy bar after you!’

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