Thoughts for Friday – 29th August 2014

fa4a76e1d67aa7e8f6b8d608b225d3ddWell, it’s only taken me nearly a year of writing these Thoughts for Friday posts before I actually got round to using a quote from an actual philosopher….. But hey, I got there in the end!

One of the things that I’ve felt has held me back for most of my life is the criticism of others and maybe this is why it has taken me so long to break free of the unhappiness that has consumed most of my adult years.

I had been subjected to a lot of criticism from a young age and much like a dog that has been beaten too much, you tend to find ways of avoiding the same situations in the future. As Aristotle so eloquently puts it, the only way that you can avoid the harsh words of others is to ‘do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.’

This is the mantra that I unconsciously adopted when I was younger and it’s taken me until now to figure out the failings in my thinking. I had always assumed that by becoming nothing more than a pale imitation of a person that I could avoid anyone criticizing me and making me feel small. While it was a fairly logical coping mechanism, I couldn’t see the damage I was doing to myself in the long-term.

It is something that I’m slowly finding my way out of and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the reactions of others to the changes in my appearance and demeanor. There will always be people in this life who will want to bring you down and as I expected, there have been some who have criticized me for no longer fitting the mould that is most convenient for them.

This new approach to how I choose to live my life is also something that translates well into my writing aspirations. Although I remain fully committed to becoming the best writer that I can be, I also realize that in order to do that I need to get more experience out there in the big wide world. Whereas I have spent the last few years devoting all my spare time to the pursuit of writing, I am now trying to spend a significant amount of time socializing, widening my circle of friends and perhaps finding a nice man to settle down with….

Now that I am in a better place to deal with criticism, I will not be afraid to do the things that I want, say what I feel is right and be the person that I choose to be. This should not only make me a happier and more well-adjusted human being but a better writer as well.



Filed under Thoughts for Friday

16 responses to “Thoughts for Friday – 29th August 2014

  1. Beautiful post, Heather. I can so relate to freezing as a result of thinking about what others think of me. Can’t wait to see what you’ll do with this new courageous attitude!

  2. A very inspiring post! I think I need to adopt your attitude 🙂

  3. I think we all fear criticism, but it helps us grow, Girly. Have agreat weekend! :)♡♡

  4. That’s awesome Heather. What a great quote. And I totally believe that our experiences when we’re younger totally effects the way we think and act when we’re older. I wrote a post recently that touches on this. If interested, you can read it here:

  5. Great quote! I need to save that one – no truer words were ever spoken!

  6. Adan Ramie

    Good on you, Heather. Being true to oneself is necessary to being true to one’s writing voice. Rejoice that you’ve finally find your way out of that negative thinking; it takes some of us a long time, but when we finally break free of the dark clouds of an abusive past, the world opens its arms. And socializing won’t hurt your writing one bit. Congrats on your progress!

    • Thanks Adan! 🙂

      It feels as if I am viewing the world differently now and that I can finally see all of the things that I’ve been missing for so long. Breaking that negative cycle was so hard, but I am so glad that I’ve finally been able to do it.

  7. There are plenty of people and situations in life that knock us down, intentionally or otherwise, but it’s what we do when we’ve been flattened that determines how the next part of our life will go – even if it takes a long time to pick ourself up again. I’m cheering you on and heartened by what you’ve shared.Good for you,

    • Thank you Julia ❤

      I agree that hard times will always knock us down and that it is how we pick ourselves up afterward that really counts. Sometimes it can seem so hard to get up after being kicked down, but we have to, otherwise we'll never get anywhere.

      There will be tough times ahead, but hopefully I will be better placed both emotionally and physically to be able to deal with them.

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