Thoughts for Friday – 19th September 2014

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This week’s quote is inspired by a conversation that I had with my best friend last weekend. While chatting, the thorny subject of a particular person came up and, for once, I didn’t feel an overriding sense of anger when talking about him. That’s not to say that the way he treated me as a child and the way he chooses to treat me now is ok, it’s more the fact that holding on to anger and resentment is not hurting anyone but myself.

Believe me, if I could change the things that happened when I was growing up, I would. But I’m no magician and neither do I have a time machine that would let me travel into the past and right past wrongs. I used to keep the bitterness and resentment I felt toward the people who had treated me badly close at hand, convincing myself that it was the very thing that made me the person that I am. I foolishly believed that negative energy was the primary reason why I was so focused and determined to get things done in life.

I held on to all of that anger and failed to see that it was the very thing holding me back instead of driving me forwards. It has taken me many years to realise that holding on to negative energy will only make me a lesser person, not a better one. I remember telling my friend that I held no real feelings of anger or bitterness toward[ the person in question any more and that my decision to cut him out of my life was not due to spite or any kind of willingness to hurt him. The reason I moved on without him is that I have more respect for myself than to tolerate behaviour which does not benefit me.

Should there ever come a time when he realises that his behaviour toward me was unacceptable and he makes an effort to change his ways, I will attempt to build bridges with him. But until that time, I refuse to meet someone halfway who won’t even take a single step toward reconciliation.

Cutting people out of your life does not make you a bad person, it makes you the kind of person who is good to themselves and understands that sometimes, when it comes to matters of the heart, that you have to put yourself first for once.

There are many people who will do us wrong during our life, but we must all try our best not to let anger and resentment cloud our behaviour. Negative emotions do not affect the person you’re angry with, they only affect you. As hard as it may be, we must not poison our own good nature with the bad deeds of others.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Thoughts for Friday – 19th September 2014

  1. This is such a wonderful post, Heather! This is so true – and it’s something we all need to remember. During our lives, we will come across people who are very toxic – they poison their own lives as well as those they come in contact with. God knows I’ve met a few, and at some point, like a skilled surgeon, you have to gracefully but assuredly excise them from your life. And you do it not to be cruel, but in order to survive!

    I can’t tell you how much I like this post, both for its wisdom as well as what is says about you. It says how much you’ve grown.

    It’s a wonderful thing!

    • Thanks Kate! ❤

      It's taken me a long time to realise that my anger was hurting no one but myself. There comes a point when we have to walk away from people who no longer bring anything positive to our lives.

      I didn't cut this particular person out of my life to be cruel or nasty, but because I have more respect for myself than to tolerate being treated that way anymore.

  2. Brilliant, Heather. Keep telling yourself that, okay. The last paragraph is gold. You are inspiring the rest of us. Daily. xxx ♡

  3. Oh wow, what a great quote Heather. It is so true. You have learned a very powerful and freeing lesson, my friend. Holding onto anger is like a disease that just rots away inside you. I’ve been there too.
    🙂

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