Thoughts for Friday – 3rd October 2014

01After nearly a year of using quotes as a basis for my Friday posts, I have decided that a new direction is needed for my weekly column. I think I have pretty much flogged the writing and inspirational quotes to death; I would more than likely just end up keep repeating the same old things over and over and I doubt that makes for very interesting reading!

So, I’m taking this weekly column in a completely new direction. I’m going to pick a subject that has given me pause for thought recently and write about that instead. After all, it is a thought which I am expressing on a Friday, so I don’t even need to change the title of the series….(get me and my logical Libran mind!)

I’m going to start this new-look Thoughts for Friday post in style and talk about online dating.

Yes, you did hear me right: Online dating.

I work damn hard in my job and have long, arduous hours day after day, so the last thing I want to do is put my glad rags on and drag my weary carcass to the nearest bar. The only thing I want to do after a long day at work is get my pyjamas on, get in bed and read a good book. Well, that doesn’t exactly leave much time for romance, does it?

While I enjoy living on my own, I am a healthy young woman who has….well, healthy young needs. Sometimes a woman gets lonely, you know?

Scouring the town Monday to Friday looking for men after a long day isn’t going to work for me. My weekends are usually as busy as my working days which means that I get next to no time to go out and ensnare some poor unsuspecting man with my womanly charms.

So what does that leave?

Well, getting set up by your friends on a blind date certainly doesn’t work. Trust me, I’ve been there.

I thought long and hard about the solution to my problems and could only come up with one answer: Online dating.

online_dating-1It’s not actually as cringy as it sounds, and believe it or not, there are actually some good-looking, funny men on these sites that have just as hectic a life as I do. I’ve traded messages with two or three men who not only look pretty good, they can also string a sentence together and form a cohesive thought that doesn’t always end up with the word ‘sex’ in it.

That being said, there will always be a number of creepy weirdos on there who, let’s face it, are pretty socially inept and not all that much to look at. Granted, I’m no Angelina Jolie in the looks stakes, but at least I bothered to put a half-decent picture on my profile instead of some weird selfie that makes it look as if I am constipated and have five chins.

There are people on there looking for an easy lay, picking up girls who want a good time with no strings attached. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t tend to do that kind of thing (mainly because I have more respect for myself than to be treated like that.) There are also people on there masquerading as men but are actually some sort of organised crime syndicate looking to extort money from unsuspecting women who are desperate for a bit of love and attention from the first man that shows an interest in them.

I’ve probably made online dating sound like the worst thing you could ever do, but I have to admit that I have managed to sift my way through the weirdos, criminals, and the socially inept and found a couple of men who seem to share the same interests and intellect as I do and I’ve managed to strike up good conversations with them. Whether our messaging will turn into a date or two remains to be seen, but I have faith that it will be what it will be. If I am destined to meet a man I’d met on an online dating site, then fate will have a way of making that happen.

f2b13648300aaf8979ae542917b1a2f9Kate Loveton has already given me the big sister talk on staying safe on a date, and I can assure you all that I am well aware that, just because a man comes across well on the internet, it doesn’t mean that he’s not some kind of predator off of it. Don’t worry about me folks; I did martial arts as a kid and know how to look after myself. My reflexes are pretty quick and I am confident I could kick any man in the nuts and make good on an escape.

Online dating, much like anything, has its pros and cons but having considered those, I think it’s an avenue worth exploring. Sure, there are some nut jobs out there, but there are probably just as many in my local bar as there are on online dating sites. As long as you know the potential risks and are smart enough to protect yourself from them, I don’t see what the harm with using such sites is.

What do you think? 

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21 Comments

Filed under Thoughts for Friday

21 responses to “Thoughts for Friday – 3rd October 2014

  1. Like you say, Heather, there are pros and cons attached to everything, meeting men through the ‘regular’ channels included, and I have to say, trawling the bars ect wouldn’t appeal to me either. Online dating has worked well for a friend of mine and she and her partner are very happy. Whatever works, I say. Best of luck 🙂

    • Thanks Cathy!

      I’m not much of a one for trawling through the bars and would much rather not have to wade my way through drunken men to find my Prince Charming. Who knows, maybe he’s as geeky as me! 🙂

  2. Perhaps you’ll find that special person, Heather! I certainly hope so! If not, you’ll certainly find fodder for some interesting stories and characters for your fiction. 😀 Gee, I wasn’t aware that you knew some of the martial arts – you are a woman of many talents!

    I think trying online dating is fine as long as you’re savvy. And you are. ❤

  3. I have a very tall friend. She must be like 1 meter, 88 cent (6′ 2″). Anyhow, she met her hubby through online dating. She went through Harmony. So, it did work for her, and has worked for countless others as well. I hope you find Mr. Right Heather.
    🙂

  4. Appreciate the honesty. Hope things work out, H. I know several women who found their mate online. =)

  5. Here’s to finding Mr. Right!! You deserve the greatest of relationships, Heather. xxx

  6. Adan Ramie

    I don’t know much about meeting men online, but I did meet my beautiful, amazing partner on an online dating site (Plenty of Fish). We exchanged messages for maybe a week, agreed to meet at a coffee shop, and by the time I saw her for the first time, she had me wrapped around her finger.

    As long as you’re cautious about crazies, I definitely don’t see a problem with online dating. My partner and I lived less than twenty minutes from each other, but because of our schedules and the circles we ran in, we had never — and probably would have never — had a chance to meet. Sometimes, Fate needs a little nudge.

    Good luck!

    • I have exchanged messages with a guy on the dating site and we’ve progressed to texting each other most days. We both have pretty hectic schedules but hopefully we can arrange go meet up soon and see if we click. I hope we do as we seem to have a good connection via messages and texts.

      We both live in the same town but would likely have never known of each other had it not been for the site. Who knows what will happen, but I’m hoping for good things 🙂

      • Adan Ramie

        That’s awesome to hear, Heather! I know it’s difficult with a busy schedule, but it can be really worth it to work someone into your life. I had pretty much given up on dating in general until I got that first message from the woman who would become my partner forever. Good luck!

      • Thanks Adan! ❤

        We've exchanged a lot of texts this weekend and I asked if he'd like to meet up soon and he's agreed! We're trying to sync our schedules (LOL!) and are hoping to go on a date at the end of the month. Fingers crossed that we hit it off as well in person as we have through messaging!

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