I have pretty serious issues with my shoulders and neck, which often make sitting at a desk and writing both hard and painful work. I regularly visit both a chiropractor and a sports massage therapist in order to keep on top of the discomfort and the debilitating headaches that I often feel, especially when the pain is at its worst.
It was only a few weeks ago that my chiropractor told me that the state of my neck and shoulders was as bad (if not worse) than when I first started visiting her nearly four years before. I gave her the excuse of being very busy and having to travel a great deal for my job, but neither seemed to hold much sway with her as she told me that I really should go to something called a ‘Body Balance’ class.
I’ll admit that I looked at her, perplexed. She went on to explain that Body Balance is a combination of yoga, Tai Chi and breathing exercises and that she felt it would do me a lot of good to attend a class and work on my core strength, as well as helping to correct my slouched posture.
I booked in for the class being held at 7.30pm on 7th November and turned up at the gym only to find that the class had been moved forward 30 minutes and no one had bothered to tell me that when I booked. I was half miffed and half relieved that I’d managed to get out of the class for a week and went home and had a beer or two instead!
Due to the error on their part, the gym booked me into the class for the following week for free and this time I had no way of getting out of it….
I had no idea what to expect, but I guess I’d just assumed that yoga and Tai Chi were simple exercises that anyone could do. I couldn’t have been more wrong….
For a whole 60 minutes, I had to bend my body into all sorts of mysterious shapes while breathing in and out and trying to keep my balance. All of these torture techniques were employed to music and an annoyingly perky instructor who not only sang along to most of the songs but also saw fit to tell the whole class about how her ‘dirty weekend’ had been cancelled. If you were trying to relax me, love, that’s not the way to go about it!
I have no idea how, but I made it through the class and managed to get home before my knees buckled beneath me (luckily, I had enough strength in my legs to power me to the fridge to grab a beer before I collapsed on the couch) “You’ll probably feel a bit stiff in the morning,” the instructor told me as I left the room, but the truth was that my muscles were already going into some kind of shock-induced torpor as wobbled my way back to reception.
Unsurprisingly, I fell asleep pretty quickly that night and woke up feeling stiffer than a corpse. I figured that would be the worst of it, but oh no, the best was still yet to come….
Having made and eaten my breakfast, I dragged my weary carcass toward my bathroom only to find myself being reacquainted with what I’d just eaten. Proof, if needed, that all that yoga and Tai Chi shit is a hell of a lot harder than it looks….