Thoughts for Friday – 1st May

Can it really be a month since I took on my new role?

It seems as if life has been passing me by at warp-speed these last few weeks and I can honestly say that I have woken up some mornings and wondered not only what day of the week it was, but which city I was in, too. If I thought I’d moved fast in the past, the last month has shown me that time waits for no man (or woman).

th_1My more experienced colleagues have been great in getting me up to speed with my confidence and style of delivery to the point that I will be out on my own delivering courses next month. If you’d told me that a few weeks ago, I would have laughed in your face. There was NO WAY that I would be ready in such a short space of time. “Don’t worry,” my colleagues said, “We have faith in you.”

Yeah, thanks for that added bit of pressure, guys…

I delivered my first full session last week and let me tell you now, I have never been quite so terrified in all my life. Perhaps that’s a slight exaggeration, but let’s just say that I didn’t need any prunes to aid my bowel movements that week. Even though I had prepared to the best of my ability, my subconscious kept trying to convince me that everything would fall to pieces and the delegates that I was meant to be teaching would laugh at me. A last-minute case of the jitters almost threatened to make me cry and throw up simultaneously. Cue a much-needed mental smack around the face from my colleague who told me to suck it up and get on with it (but in much nicer language.)

Don’t ask me how I did it, but I managed to get through the whole day without making a complete hash of it. For the most part, the delegates were engaged and receptive to my delivery and even gave me a round of applause when I made it to the end of the session, whether that was due to the fact that they were glad that it was over or the fact that I did okay is undetermined at this point.

th_2Just before I began delivering the session, I did ask myself why a woman as shy and awkward as myself would think it a good idea to apply for a role whereby I would have to stand in front of big groups of people and talk with all eyes on me. I had 22 delegates in my session and every single one of them focused on me as I began.

To put it mildly, I was crapping myself.

After the session was over I realised that I actually felt quite a rush standing in front of a room full of people and relaying my own knowledge and experiences in the social care sector. More than that, I was completely exhausted by the end of the day and had underestimated just how tiring engaging a large group of people can be. My feet hurt from being on them all day and my throat was dry from speaking more than usual, but I made it through and that’s what counts (I hope!)

girl with stacked booksNot satisfied with studying on the job with my more experienced colleagues, I have also now started my college course in order to get my first teaching qualification. Without giving away my age, let’s just say that it’s been a while since I’ve been in a college environment. Thankfully, there were ten other ‘mature’ students who were in a similar situation to me when I arrived on my first day back at ‘school’.

The course has a good range of students from differing backgrounds, much of our first session dealt with getting to know one another and learning more about the layout of the course. I will be attending college every Friday for the next 10 weeks and after that time I will have my first accredited teaching qualification to my name which will allow me to go onto further studies and obtain a degree which would see me become a fully qualified teacher.

It will be a case of hitting the books and typing up essays over the next couple of months which may affect my ability to post regular Thoughts for Friday posts, but I am hoping that I will be able to keep up with both. If you don’t hear from me for a couple of weeks then you can be pretty sure that I have my nose stuck in a book, desperately trying to get my written assignment handed in on time.

peeled-bananaMy long-term goal is to become a fully qualified teacher and to be able to work in colleges and universities as a lecturer on the topic of social care. That dream is a long way off yet, but I cannot wait for the day when a student brings me an apple during class. I only hope they won’t be offended when I tell them that I prefer bananas instead…

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8 Comments

Filed under Thoughts for Friday

8 responses to “Thoughts for Friday – 1st May

  1. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! 💜💜

    • Awww, I couldn’t have done it without you! ❤ ❤ ❤

      • Geez, I was sure I hit the like button here. I have been having computer issues – or brain issues! (Combination??)

        Heather, all you needed was someone to listen, my friend. It was always you – your drive, your perseverance, your intelligence. I was struck by all those things when I first came to know you. It really gives me a charge to see you becoming all those things I always knew you could be.

        You seriously rock, girlfriend! 😀

  2. Talk about challenging yourself. Wow. Everything all at once too! Congratulations. You. Can. Do. It! ❤ ❤ ❤

  3. The time to worry is when you stop crapping yourself.

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